Here's Kerri ......

Hello Hello I'm back. So sorry for the blog lapse. Many things going on so you better get comfortable as it's going to be a long read. First of all thanks to those who have enquired after me. It's nice to think we have strangers who are friends and miss our ramblings. I know I like to catch up with whats going on with all of you.

Okay October goals - FAIL, FAIL, FAIL the only one achieved was no spending days. I actually managed about 9 (nearly double target) as I've not been out much.

Drinking only water for a month - this did not happen but not far off. Had a couple of slips, went to a church coffee morning and was so caught up in chatter that I'd had half a cup of coffee before I remembered. However have managed to drink only hot water at church since. Also went out for lunch with my son and took a coughing fit so gulped a couple of mouthfuls of his coca cola to appease my throat. Then on the 27th I had a blowout and drank a McDonald's Banana milk shake. I was feeling sorry for myself and needed a "bad for me fix". Therefore task failed £10 to charity. I will however, be attempting this task again, but not until the New Year as I need my hot chocolate on these cold nights.

Lose 8lbs - Miserable fail on this have put on 4. My heart has not been in it and have been comfort eating. This is very bad as Christmas approaching and do not want to look dreadful in Christmas Photos. Will tackle again this month. Will not be paying £10 to charity for this one, as not an actual task, but will give extra food to instant neighbour scheme, as a punishment for going off rails.(will make me feel better that at least I'm helping someone)

Start exercise routine - started but did not stick to it. Lost heart. Same with set up menu planning and stick to it - started well but fell by the wayside after couple of weeks. All in all October not a good month but I do have a excuse, at least it's not an excuse but a reason for losing heart.

As those of you who have read my previous posts know, my Mum died on the 1st of May, The 27th of October would have been her 72nd birthday and the 1st of November, 6 months since she passed. My Mum was an amazing lady (as are all Mums) but she coped with such adversity in her life. She was diagnosed with throat cancer at the age of 13, after extensive surgeries to save her life (all pioneering stuff at the time) she had a post operative stroke at age 16.

Never once did my Mum let her disability get in the way of things she wanted to do in life. She met and married my Dad, had my brother and me and did everything for us. She learned to drive and worked as Nursery Teacher most of her life. She went back to college and did a secretarial and shorthand course in her late 40's. She helped look after her grandchildren and all 6 of them have special memories of things Grandma taught them to do. She needed a lot of help in the latter years of her life but we were very grateful that, with the wonderful help from our GP's and District Nurses, she was able to stay at home till the end.

Now I don't mean this to be a depressive posting, I just wanted to tell you what's been going on. As with others who have lost loved ones, you'll know the firsts are always the hardest, first birthday, Christmas, anniversaries etc. I just wanted to put down in print what I was feeling as much to help me with my healing process as anything else. My Mum was a Mum in a million, and I miss her greatly. However, if she was here she would give me a good kick up the arse (well at least the ankle as she couldn't have reached my arse) and tell me to get on with things. It's right and proper that I should miss her but not that I should feel so sorry for myself. I have been very down this last couple of weeks and it's time I pulled myself together and got on with it.

So if you've kept reading to the end, thanks again for letting me ramble. Normal blogging will resume and I will pick myself up and dust myself down (adding more to the pile of dust that has accumulated on every surface recently) and bloody well get on with it. Time to re-read my positives list I think, then work out my November goals.

For those of you asking about my CREDIT CARDS, paid them off by taking out a consolidation loan, not the best way we know, but we were only paying extortionate interest charges not actual bills. This way we have a very low interest rate and are able to pay the loan off quicker. Definitely a boost in today's credit climate I think.

The car is back on the road, as is Peanuts, however he has also bought another car so that he can pass the first one on to his sister who will hopefully pass her test soon.

Happy 5th of November to you all, and if you're having fireworks be careful and ensure your pets are safely inside. Even our rabbits come inside tonight. Here's a photo of them in better weather.