Warning - ladies only post!

OK guys you've been warned this is a post about downstairs problems so if you don't want to know the score look away now!

Right, what is going on in my body! All my life my monthly visits have been bad. Getting worse after each birth. I have a 3 week, full 7 day cycle and it knocks me sideways for the first 2 days every time. Now I've come to terms with this, it's predictable, reliable, you could set your watch kinda thing.

However, last month my "friend" arrived late, visited for only 3 days, and didn't make much of an effort to join in the fun. Then 10 days later back she came with a vengeance. Hot water bottle, and painkillers time like normal, so I'm thinking must have been just a blip. NO, she only stayed 4 days and then took off again. Am I reaching the dreaded "M" word. OMG surely not. I do not want to venture in to this world of mood swings (Babes says I do that anyway), hot flushes, HRT and god knows what else.

I already have odd hairs sprouting in "manly" places i.e. fingers, toes chin etc, but as so many of my friends also do and I have an excellent pair of tweezers, I can live with this. The weight fluctuations and acne ( is my body hankering back to puberty, I mean really!) are not so acceptable side effects. The good news is I may be about to move away and leave my friend (after all I've been loyal for nearly 30 years) but do I really want to have to make new friends instead! I don't think so!!

Any wise woman words of knowledge or comfort would be gratefully accepted. Then again if you just want laugh your head off at my predicament that's fine too - just remember like the "Nike Belly" (or was it Reebok) it's "gonna get you" too! (and yes I mean you Miss Holly, I can hear that tittering from here)

Grumpy Chaotic Kerri signing off, so it's safe to look now guys.